I hadn’t seen him in months and when I walked into that Starbucks and saw him I just wanted to walk right up and kiss him. He seemed taller than he was before when he hugged me, and his hair had grown out so his cowlick wasn’t sticking up. I had no idea what to order because I never drink fancy coffee, so we joked about what kind of blended thing I should ask for and instantly started laughing with each other like kids. For some reason the subject of our conversation turned to running away, like he had been reading my mind and knew exactly what I needed to talk about, just like he always does. I had been considering running away for quite a while. I had calculated how much money I’d need, where I would go, what I would take with me, and how I would get it all packed into my tiny car and go in one afternoon while my boyfriend was at work. I hadn’t been this happy in months. Seeing his face, having him so close to me made me so happy. He wasn’t just talking about ME running away, he was talking about WE running away.
I would have ran away with that boy in a half of a heart beat.
We had this cute little plan going about moving to Seattle, going by our middle names, him becoming a huge theater star and me starting my own bakery and both of us just being happy for once, something both of us truly were missing.
All of those times that we had been so close to being together, all of the chances that I’d given to him, but he’s always pulled back and left me, leaving my heart scorched and my mind numb. Well, regardless of my knowledge, I couldn’t help but wish that this time would be different, that i wouldn’t get burned, but I would. Every ounce of me was wishing that this time he would push forward through his wall instead of building it higher, put away the insecurities and fear and just be happy together.
The text a few minutes after we parted, “It was nice to see you today.” I think we both needed an escape from our realities.
The rose in the thorn bush is hard for me to find in this story. This encounter was quite a few months ago, and the best thing that has happened in this situation is that I no longer allow this friend of mine to burn me. We are now what we always were meant to be, absolute best friends and nothing more. I will love this man forever, but only for the fun times that we have shared together and the experiences he has given me. Now that we both have that understanding about our relationship, our friendship has become much stronger. There are still thorns here, like how we hardly ever see each other anymore because we tried to date and things went down hill from there. But we’ve been the best of friends for ten years and he is always there for me when I need him and I know that we will remain that way. There will be many more stories that include him in it, as he has been with me through so many fun adventures. So I guess the moral of the story is that even if you have a falling out with someone, or several, you should never give up on someone who means so much to you.